I am puke
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
