sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I intend to get homeless drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
