Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
