Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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