He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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