can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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