Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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