Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I love having hate sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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