VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
