Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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