They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
what day is it and did you see me today?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
