porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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