I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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