so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
