You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
