bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Small penises have feelings too.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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