sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
