my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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