Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
