Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
