The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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