last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
