It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
