You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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