Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
