And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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