There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
