Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
