a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
