It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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