***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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