Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
