Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
