I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
