I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't turn off my feet"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
