the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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