I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
