but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
