:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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