I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
