You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
