Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your dad touched me again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
