I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dicks are not precious.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
