We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
