She's JV to your varsity
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
