I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
