hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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