I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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