Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
