can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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