Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
