You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
