Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
